“Di corsa, braccio destro indietro, VIA!” hollers Veronica, Italy’s youngest ever Olympic artistic gymnast, now an acrobatics coach at FLIC Scuola di Circo and Reale Società Ginnastica di Torino. Forever the obedient Hermione, I dutifully take off, falling in line with the enthusiastic group of future FLIC hopefuls to jog around the big blue square, swinging my right arm back backwards with gusto and a nostalgic smile creeping into the corners of my mouth. You see, it’s impossible in this moment not to viscerally recall the Arlington Woodmont Center in Arlington, VA where many of my formative years’ evenings began in just this way… running around in a circle swinging my right arm behind me, a proud Arlington Angel sporting a lime-green crushed velvet leotard, my team and I warming up for that night’s artistic gymnastics practice, hair shellacked back and the musty combo of chalk and preteen sweat hanging in the air… *a single tear rolls down her cheek*

 

This particular week, FLIC hosted its first ever “Open Week FLIC” in which 30 young adults interested in auditioning for the school stepped in to get a feel for the FLIC student life. I was grateful to not only lead several yoga classes but also be approved to hop into other classes when I felt like it, such as contemporary dance, ballet, dance acrobatics, history, circus technique, theatre, etc. It was so fun to see the school through fresh eyes, very much how I must have looked, felt, and acted back when I auditioned in 2011 - bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, overly enthusiastic, eager-to-impress, and quick to obey commands (even if I couldn’t do a pull-up to save my life).

 

However, when I attempted to listen in on the student panel (with 3 current 2nd years leading a Q&A session with the Open Week folks), my old teacher Dario pulled me aside and asked me to step out because it was inappropriate. I recall blushing SUPER hard, instantly feeling like I was in trouble (of course), but the reality of it was: to all of these people I was a teacher, an authoritative figure. Why indeed would I be sitting in to hear all the hot goss and tea spilt by the second years, answering what were bound to be semi-invasive questions about what FLIC is REALLY like on the inside as a student? Once I got over my initial embarrassment, I was actually quite humored. Me?? A teacher?! Impossible, I’m definitely still a 22-year old circus student. Deep down, I still feel like I belong here at the bottom with the others - I couldn’t possibly be someone on the other side of the pedagogy, providing the very education that would earn them the same professional contemporary circus arts certification I received back in 2013. Wait... or was I?!

 

In truth, I mostly wanted to go to listen to Italian being spoken. Being a fly on the wall during several hours of live discussion is way better than any amount of time spent on Duolingo. But Dario was right - it was no longer my place, at least in that particular setting. At that point, the term “forever a student” bubbled to the surface of my psyche and so many other examples began to emerge:

 

I am a student of the Italian language, so naturally I am eager to soak it up as best I can. Not only am I in Italy, but am requested to teach my classes primarily in Italian. Back in 2011, I managed to pick up the basics in a few weeks, but after a while got frustrated that I couldn’t read it or use certain verb tenses I knew in Spanish, like the imperfect subjunctive or conditional perfect (I know, #nerdalert). So, I bought “Harry Potter e la Pietra Filosofale” which I know by heart in English and was incredibly helpful to fortify my ability to effectively communicate with my peers and teachers (fun fact: Hufflepuff in Italian is Tassofrasso!). This go around, in my spare time I’m rewatching the Harry Potter movies on Netflix dubbed in Italian along with Italian subtitles, which serves as helpful auditory/visual practice when it comes to refining accent, rhythm, pacing, and slang, delivered through a format with which I am already extremely familiar, therefore not straining as hard to make sense of it than if I were to start a completely new Italian series or movie I know nothing about.

 

And yoga? I found a studio nearby (Yogaunion) and swiftly purchased a month-long unlimited membership. I’ve been going practically daily ever since, for my own personal practice, sure… but mostly just to study how yoga is taught in Italian. I’m learning some things that directly translate (see: “bambino felice”), various ways to cue breath, and it’s charming to hear Sanskrit words and poses pronounced with a different accent. Additionally, I used some of my free time to take Dr. Rose Erin Vaughan’s Science of Self free online 9-hour Introduction to Meridian Yoga Therapy which included 3 hours of asana practice and 6 hours of lecture on the meridians, pressure points, and self-management of pain, which in doing so earned me some continuing education hours of my own.

 

Back on the teaching side of things, my 3rd round of my 60-hr continuing education program Together In Practice is coming to a close this week. As always, I practice each and every class in tandem with my students before we have our biweekly TIParties to discuss our findings. Last Sunday, I found myself up in the FLIC mansarda, ripping through my Pre-Flight Safety class when my brain started doing loop-de-loops. There I was - taking my own class as a pretend student in my own program, practicing rigorous handstand and flexibility drills - many of which I learned inside this very building 14 years ago as a FLIC student, where I am currently here as a teacher leading daily yoga classes for the current students…

 

The lines between teacher and student blur, and it’s a beautiful cycle, constantly looping back in on itself. However, sometimes when it comes to being a student, many of us are hesitant or even resistant - especially when it is something brand new to us. We don’t like to be wrong, to look stupid, to fail. For me, being a student brings to mind the words vulnerability, courage, and humility. There’s an understanding that mistakes will be made and a very real possibility that the skill being studied won’t come naturally. Work, time, dedication, passion, commitment, and grit are required, and even after all that - the outcome isn’t always a positive one. In the end, success is never guaranteed.

 

Writing this now, it strikes me that I am also a student of business and entrepreneurship… not so much in theory (I’ve never taken a business or finance class in my life; you’re talking to a dance major / Spanish minor here, lol!) but rather in more of a “by-the-seat-of-my-pants” practical kind of way. And if I were take my own advice, I’d have to be willing to fail sometimes. I must accept that I won’t always ace the test even if I make my own color-coded flash cards, that I won’t nail that one-armed handstand simply because I train it, or in the most present case, that my Mexico retreat would rapidly sell out just because all my previous ones had. I must review my mistakes, reroute my plan of action, and be willing to try again if I am to keep on the learning path.

 

With all that being said, I recently made the incredibly difficult decision to cut MARGE CAMP Mexico this year and focus the entirety of my creative and entrepreneurial efforts on MARGE CAMP Potomac, ensuring that it will be my best damn yoga retreat of 2025 because, well… it’s the only one I've got! In all honesty, I’m looking forward to a gentle return back to the yoga scene; it’s been a rough couple of years for me and I’ve strayed so far from my professional backbone of regular teaching, I barely recognize myself and truth be told, a quiet reintegration feels like the right choice.

 

What about you? When was the last time you could truly call yourself a student of something? An even more important inquiry for anyone who would consider themselves to be a teacher, leader, or master of their craft… Have you been learning anything new recently? How does it make you feel? Excited, nervous, exhilarated, frustrated, proud? Are you in some way teaching it to others, be it in a roundabout way or explicitly so? What does your own personal student/teacher loop look like?

 

Hey, here’s an idea: if you are need of a place to call yourself a student again, I’ll willing to bet you just might learn something new at MARGE CAMP Potomac … just sayin’!!!